I wish I could say I had a terrible childhood and because of that I made poor choices. I wish I could blame my parents, my friends, my teachers at school, anyone, for the decisions I made. Unfortunately, I can’t.
I accepted Christ when I was nine years old. I accepted him as my Savior but I did not make him the Lord of my life. I wanted Christ but I wasn’t willing to let him have control over everything in my life.
Skip ahead to my senior year of high school I met a young man who was a senior in college. I really can’t explain everything that happened in the year and a half we dated but in no way should I have married him. But I did, after my freshman year in college. I was too young and very naive.
No one thought we should marry including me but for some reason I felt I could not get out of it. There were so many red flags but I ignored them. I should have seen it coming; I should have known it wouldn’t last.
Invitations had been sent. Gifts had been given. I thought I couldn’t back out.
Let me just say this, if anyone is on the verge of getting married and for any reason you feel it’s not God’s best for you, don’t do it. Marriage is too sacred. It’s much better to go through the pain of breaking an engagement than breaking a marriage. Spoken from someone who knows!
The next four and a half years while I was married were very difficult. I will not go into detail, but it was not a home I would want to raise Courtney and Cory in. It was certainly not the childhood I had had.
In 1990, I realized I could not stay in the marriage any longer so Courtney and Cory and I moved in with my parents. The reasons I left were biblical reasons but I still felt like a failure.
I was 23 years old, divorced and had a three year old and a two year old.
Honestly, I was devastated. I felt I had messed up so bad that no one would ever want me and surely God could never use me. My relationship with the Lord had been luke warm and I was certain he was through with me……….
Please stop back by for Walking in His Grace, Part 2.
Grace and High Heels,
Loved ypur talk at GCC.
Thank you so much! I enjoyed being there.
I had tears in my eyes reading your story it was like reading my own!
Bless you and your beautiful family.
I love it!!! The shoes are an added bonus. I’m looking forward to more to come.
Like you, I lost my mother in September of 2009, on the 20th to be exact. She passed away suddenly and unexpectedly of a pulmonary embolism at only 41 years old. I miss her terribly! I discovered your and your sister Traci’s blogs few months ago and have been keeping up ever since. You both are an inspiration to me! I’m looking forward to part two. 🙂
Can’t wait to hear the rest…..God’s grace really is amazing!
Love the new blog!
Cyndi! Looking forward to your upcoming posts. You are such a talented writer. Thanks for sharing your story. paula
Why do we all ignore the red flags? LOL If we could only learn from each other without having to suffer.
Cyndi:
This is just BEAUTIFUL!! I absolutely am in LOVE with the shoes at the top… especially the red ones!
I am SO of the belief that the better we care for ourselves and are our most attractive, the better voice we have for Him.
I LOVE this new blog, and your testimony is already a blessing. None of us are exempt from life, and it is in these very experiences, that God uses our particular voice to glorify Himself.
I’ll be back!!! This is going to be GOOD!!!
Love,
Sonja
Hey sweet Cyndi! Hooray for you for sharing your testimony! God bless you, sweet woman, as you discover new ways to bless even more people.
And now I know why it is that you look like such a young mother-of-the-bride. . . it’s because you ARE young. But you have wisdom beyond your years, so bless you for sharing it!
Oh friend…I <3 your new blog and the look. And, I must say I'm a lover of shoes…and red ones to boot!
Your testimony truly touched my heart. I'm SO thankful that we serve a Savior who is STILL in the redemption business!! He ALWAYS takes the ashes of our lives….and creates so much BEAUTY!! We truly are a blessed people.
Love ya friend…and know that I'm praying for you as I'm sure your wedding 'to do' list continues to grow.
Cyndi:
Love your site, your sweet momma would be so proud of you!! I felt like I was reading my life all over again and still feel those same haunting feelings when the devil tries to bring me down. What an inspiration your site will be to alot of folks in the same situation. We may not understand but we trust Him!
Love you,
Shannon Gillum Dodd
I love your testimony, Lou. Though painful to walk through, God has certainly brought beauty from your ashes!! God is good! Your new blog rocks!!!!
Traci
Hello! If found you through the Blog Frog. I am looking forward to reading your blog! Blessings!
I am so looking forward to your new blog!!
Many Blessings
Patricia
Thanks for sharing the first half of your testimony Cyndi. I can tell that you are an example that God wastes nothing in our lives and what Satan meant for harm God will use for good. I love your new blog too and your adorable red heels!