How To Spice Up Your Marriage W/O Reading 50 Shades of Grey

Wow! I had no idea how much passion a post on Magic Mike and 50 Shades of Grey could stir up. If you missed my post yesterday, you can read it here.

I went to bed last night thinking about marriage. Many people who have read the book 50 Shades of Grey say it’s spicing up their marriage (specifically their sex life). Honestly, I’m sort of speechless. So my question would be, as Christians should we read and watch porn to spice up our marriage?

My answer and my opinion, absolutely not!

I’m not an expert on marriage but I have been married to Wayne for almost 21 years and after 21 years I can honestly say we are still in love.

We have worked HARD to have a good marriage. We have had ups and downs, we get mad, we disagree, but when it’s all said in done, we are passionate about each other, period.

So, here are some things I’ve learned in the last 21 years that can help spice up a marriage:

1. Pray together! Sounds crazy but spending time praying out loud together is very special and intimate. I would never do that with another man. We pray for each other. No one knows me better than Wayne and I love it when he prayers over me and for my specific concerns. If you haven’t done this before, try it, even if it feels a little uncomfortable at first.

2. Go on dates!  I know this has been said a thousand times but it’s so true. We need to date after we’re married. It’s hard when your children are young but the time invested is worth it. Even after your children are grown like ours, it’s still important to go on dates. Wayne and I love it now more than ever because we don’t have to pay for a babysitter.

3. If you want to spice up your marriage with a book, read the Bible, specifically the Song of Solomon. Believe me this will spice up your time alone (okay enough said, I can’t publicly talk about our private life :-))

4. Laugh together! I’m telling you this has been a life saver for us. We laugh in our marriage, ALOT! I think I give my husband lots of material to laugh about but it helps our marriage.

5. Play together! Wayne and I are very different. We don’t have the same hobbies at all! But we try to find things we do like to do together. We both love water, the ocean, the lake etc. We love to eat out together and we do love to go see a movie.  Show interest in each others hobbies. I have sat in a deer stand with my husband and he does go shopping with me at times. Act like kids again and have fun!!!

Remember our marriages are to mimic our relationship with our heavenly father. Guard your marriage and honor Christ above all!

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Proverbs 4:23

Have a blessed day and thanks for stopping by!

leave a comment...

  1. Great post and all so true. Marriage is worth fighting for. My Dad who is my pastor gave this advice when my husband and I were getting married thirty-six years ago and it is oh so true – Marriage isn’t always 50/50 sometimes it is 90/10 or 20/80. We have to work at it but the result is worth it.

    Debbie

  2. Oh man, I wish. I understand why you chose that over Allume, though. Going to a conference that is close is soooo much cheaper.

  3. Obviously you’re doing something right! If he’s thrifty, try picnics or hiking. Even though you spend a little gas, Wayne and I like to take drives. Just spending time together is the important thing!
    Thanks for stopping by!
    Cyndi

  4. I still haven’t started snoring Mary Lou! But if I do, he’ll have to move to another bed, not me. 🙂
    You and Nelson are a wonderful example of a godly couple, you’re both a blessing!!
    Love,
    Cyndi

  5. Oh girl! The thinks I do for my husband!! I wanted to tell you that I’m not going to Allume this year. But you’re going to love it!! I am going to the Influence Conference in Indianapolis (theinfluenceconference.com). Can you fit another conference in?? I need a roommate! 🙂
    Blessings,
    Cyndi

  6. I have been married for 47 plus years. As a couple we pray together, play together, laugh, cry, plan, travel, have Friday night dinner with a group of precious friends ( which we have been doing for 25 years or more) have afternoon dates of late lunch and a movie. Never were there two people as different but God is the common denominator. Put Him first and He provides the Holy Spirit to heal, teach, comfort, and so much more.
    He also gives us joy no matter what our circumstances.
    Cyndi – several years ago, Wayne and I were on a retreat together. He was complaining about no sleep because one of his room mates snored so loudly. He made the statement: “I could never be married to a woman that snored.” I replied:” Wayne they don’t snore when you marry them, that comes a little later.” Wonder if he is eating those words? hmm LOL

  7. Thanks for the tips. Do you have any ideas for a couple whose husband is “thrifty”? He doesn’t care to eat out or go to the movies and he wouldn’t spend the money. There isn’t much to do in the area we live besides eat out or go to the movies. We usually have a “date” going to the grocery store. I know, sounds so thrilling! 🙂 🙂 Something must be working; we have our 20th anniversary next month.

  8. These are all wonderful ways to stay connected in our marriages! My husband and I have been married 33 years the 21st, and we are more in love than ever. We don’t have the perfect marriage, but God has blessed us so much. I think one thing that has always helped us is the one you touched on in No. 3. We agreed early on, that our personal lives were just that – personal and not to be shared with anyone else. Ever.

  9. My momma always told me “A family that prays together, stays together” My husband and I took the dynamic marriage class at a local church here last fall. Not that our marrige was in trouble or anything of that nature but, we wanted our marriage to grow. We wanted to set an example to our children on how a Christian marriage should be. It was an amazing experience, I recommend it to anyone who has just married or has been married for 50 years. It is great for all types of marriages. This class brought out the importance of prayer in a marriage. In our house we pray as a family everyday and read a devotional every night at he dinner table. This class taught us to pray in a way we never thought of before.

  10. Love this post! My husband and I have been married 37 years and we still have fun together! With both of us having very busy and stressful jobs and 7 grandchildren it is easy to get caught up in “life.” But then we step back and have to remember what it took to get us to 37 years!!

  11. Love it! And we practice all of those. We’ve been married for 30 years and I love my husband more now than ever. Love those dates, laughter and prayer times! 🙂

  12. My husband and I will celebrate our 10th anniversary on Friday. “Dating” is hard with three little ones but sometimes we wait until they go to sleep and cook a nice dinner together and just talk. We are affectionate (without being inappropriate or gross!) in front of our girls so they will see that we love and are IN love. It’s work to keep a relationship strong but definitely worth the effort. I appreciated your thoughts yesterday.

  13. Cyndi, I cannot picture you hanging out in a deer stand. Were you all decked out in camouflage? I’d love to see that in “What I wore Wednesday.”

  14. Thank YOU so much for posting this! I just recently found out what MM is- (I won’t even mention 50 shades-that’s just well.. no comment) I am female and can appreciate the opposite gender in all their buffness especially when bombarded on Pinterest. (honestly all the 6 pack dudes look alike after awhile) But I had no idea what it was all about. I asked my husband- he said “strippers”… OH… …Nuf said. As for the laughter- we definitely got that down. The other day we were walking the dog and I honestly don’t even remember what set us off but we had to stop because we were so doubled over with laughing, with the dog patiently waiting…

  15. Amen!! Porn is sin and is very very dangerous… but there are also simple things that prove that it is not wise…it causes people to focus too much on their own physical pleasure than expressing intimacy with their spouse. Sex isn’t ALL about the physical pleasure and gratifying that…. and that is what porn turns it into. It gives false expectations as well. It is a trap. There is a reason that it is a billion dollar industry… a little is NEVER enough… it usually isn’t long before people get hooked enough that they just are not excited with their spouse anymore. There are doctors that are not even Christians that will say porn is a very very dangerous fire to play with… as Christians this is absolutely something we should REJECT….no question about it.

  16. Okay first of all… he is a cutie! Second… yall look YOUNG! Did you have your children young? LOVE all of these tips. I have young children, a surprise third that rocked our world but moreso mine. He went on living his as if there was not a baby and two other kids left with me at home. I decided it wasn’t going to change by itself and now we do Seeking Sitters at least once a month and I make sure I am apart of all those golf outings, or I have a sitter available for myself! Took me too long to figure that out but everything is so much better. I also think praying TOGETHER is key. Thank for sharing and reminding me in an encouraging Godly way!

  17. Thanks for being bold and courageous to blog about such sensitive topics…

    I’d like to recommend Sheet Music, a book by Kevin Leman. It is very direct, but Biblically sound, LOL hysterical and honest, and a great resource!