Forgiveness is a Process

Happy Sunday! I am headed to church this morning, and then we have our Sunday dinner. We’ve spent most of the weekend with family and friends, so it’s been a good one.

I had a conversation recently with someone who was sharing their heart about a relationship they have with a family member. They were struggling with a disagreement, but truthfully, in the grand scheme of life, it wasn’t worth being upset over.

I asked them if the person they were upset with were in a car wreck and passed away would they be heartbroken that the relationship had not been mended and they immediately said yes.

I shared with them that life is too short to have broken relationships. If at all possible mend the relationship and move on in love.

Something similar to this happened to me. A relationship was strained, and the person passed away before I could mend it, so I know firsthand how that feels.

Colossians 3:13 says, Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Forgiveness is a process, but it’s worth the process once you get to the other side. There is definitely freedom in forgiveness.

Several years ago I shared this list of how to live our life from Max Lucado’s book, In The Eye of The Storm; A Day In The Life Of Jesus, and I think it’s worth repeating.

  • Love God more than you fear hell.
  • Once a week, let a child take you on a walk.
  • When no one is watching, live as if someone is.
  • Succeed at home first.
  • Don’t spend tomorrow’s money today.
  • Pray twice as much as you fret.
  • Listen twice as much as you speak.
  • Only harbor a grudge when God does.
  •  Never outgrow your love of sunsets.
  • Treat people like angels; you will meet some and help make some.
  • ‘Tis wiser to err on the side of generosity than on the side of scrutiny.
  • God has forgiven you; you’d be wise to do the same.
  • When you can’t trace God’s hand, trust His heart.
  • Toot your own horn, and the notes will be flat.
  • Don’t feel guilty for God’s goodness.
  • The book of life is lived in chapters, so know your page number.
  • Never let the important be the victim of the trivial.
  • Live your liturgy.

Remember, This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

This song reminds me of how thankful I am that God hasn’t given up on me! What about you? Aren’t you thankful He stays?

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  1. Our pastor says forgiveness isn’t about letting the other person off the hook it is about letting yourself move on

  2. I believe forgiveness is a process in which we release that person from any obligation to apologize etc and turn them and the situation over to God. But I also believe that doesn’t mean we immediately forget it or act like nothing happened or have the relationship go back to the way it was. I’ve been in that situation. Very hurtful words were said about me on Facebook no less. That person hasn’t apologized. But after struggling with it I finally forgave them and just turned it over to God. But the hurt and sting of those words hasn’t disappeared. And our relationship is not like it was. But I’m not letting that rob me of my joy in Christ.

  3. Thank you so very much! I have been struggling with forgiveness for a very long time, i decided just yesterday it was time to let go! So reading this on this Sonday was a perfect start!
    A couple of weeks ago you shared about being thankful for your parents at a time when your babies were young, and I felt like I was reading my life story, then I read later you were a dental hygienist, as I am and
    then, I felt like you were my soul sister! Have a blessed week, thank you for the wisdom!

    1. Christie, you and I could be soul sisters too. Those very things she spoke about hit home with me as well and I’m also a dental hygienist.

  4. You definitely touched my heart this morning with your wise words and thoughts on forgiveness. I to struggle with this. Praying for myself and all who do! By His grace…🙏🌻

  5. Bless you for knowing what I needed today. My 22 yr old daughter and her boyfriend have been dating for 2 yrs. He’s five yrs older than her and had some issues with alcohol and drugs in his early twenties but has been clean for 3 yrs now. I so worried about her when they first started dating but he has been so good to her and we’ve come to love him like a son. We’ve open our home and taken him on our family vacations and we all attend the same church. Recently he slipped and did something very bad and it hurt my daughter so much that she broke up with him. He used steroids and it caused some terrible side effects. He was not aggressive with my daughter at all but it caused him to try and do something inappropriate and out of character. I was up all night with my daughter as she cried and stayed home from work with her the next day. Of course I was shocked at what he had done but wanted to be there for her. Almost two weeks have passed and they are trying to work things out. She loves him and his family so they are all working together to forgive him and help him through this. He has begged my daughter for forgiveness and he is going to meeting again.
    However, I am struggling and have not spoken to him and needed more time. As a mother, a parent, everyone knows how difficult it is to see your child in pain I knew I couldn’t say anything to him because it wouldn’t have been good and I was angry and hurt as well. My daughter is now healing and went to a meeting with him and they are both serving in church together today. He has asked to talk to me and my husband but I needed more time but will see him toddy. I have been praying to be strong and supportive for my daughter but what you said about something happening to him and us not getting the opportunity to forgive him would be devastating. But I keep thinking that my daughter is still very young and has her whole life ahead of her and deserves someone she can trust so I’m asking for prayers today. Not only for my daughter who I’m very proud of for wanting to forgive someone who has hurt her but for myself, that I am able to turn this over to God today and forgive him 🙏
    Thank you for your message today and for allowing me to share my struggle on your blog.

    1. Praying for you and your situation. “Total Forgiveness” by R.T Kendall is life changing. God bless you for your family.

  6. Beautiful song. thx for sharing, “Total Forgiveness” by R.T. Kendall is a great book for those who are struggling with forgiveness. It’s so freeing to let go of bitterness and anger. Forgiveness is truly beneficial for us! Only possible with the Lord’s help. Thank you for sharing this today Cyndi. God bless you and all the ladies reading this post today 😉

  7. Thanks for this, Cyndi. Sometimes forgiveness is hard. A family member did a horrendous, terrible thing to someone I love, and I held onto that anger for years, even thinking that I would be okay with that person dying in their sin. Then the person had a heart attack, and the prospect of ANYONE going out into eternity lost was so unnerving to me that I finally let go of the anger and asked God to help me forgive. Our pastor gave the illustration that if you hold onto a grudge, it is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You are only hurting yourself.

  8. I can’t at the moment afford to shop too much right now (although I believe God wants us prosperous in every way). But I keep this blog on my email for these lessons and Holy Spirit inspired teachings.

    If you want to hire someone remote part-time for something, let me know!!! 🙂

  9. Wow! I am so glad I read this post about forgiveness, I agree it is a process.

    That is such an amazing song, thank you for sharing.