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Sunday Encouragement-Dealing With Loss

**I shared a little about my Mom yesterday and I know some of you have followed my blog since 2009 but there are many of you that are a little newer around here. I wanted to share this older post about my Mom with you. She was the one who introduced me to blogging and I write this blog in honor of my Mom. 

August 6th, 2009 is forever etched in my mind. It was two days after my 42nd birthday. We had just had a family get together at my sister Traci’s home.

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Mom had been feeling bad for months and had been to her family doctor and a heart specialist. Because she was getting worse, we felt she needed a second opinion.

Her appointment was the same night as our family get together. Her face was swollen and she felt so bad she went to the doctor and she insisted she should go by herself.

As Wayne and I drove home from my sister’s house, my Mom called. The next few minutes are a blur but Mom told me the doctor had found a large mass around her stomach and it was cancer.

We had just pulled into the garage and I sat in the car crying. I’m not sure how long I sat there.

The next seven weeks I spent almost everyday and night at my parents home. I went with Mom to all of her doctors appointments, cooked for her, made sure she took her medicines, helped her pick out a wig (she never used it because she passed away after one chemo treatment).

Mom’s cancer spread quickly and she became so weak she needed a cane so we went to a medical supply store and bought one. She could hardly walk through the store that day. It was painful to watch.

Mom and I began a bible study together at home but unfortunately we didn’t get to finish it.

Just a few weeks earlier Mom was working full time and within days after finding out she had cancer she could hardly walk up the stairs.

September 22, 2009, Mom went to be with the Lord. We gathered around her hospital bed and sang hymns and read scripture as her earthly body died and her spirit entered heaven.

Mom spent her life waiting for this moment. Her final earthly breath….And then her first breath in heaven……her Heavenly Father was waiting………But His gain felt like my loss.

Weeks, months and now years have gone by since Mom’s final breath here on earth. At the time, I felt I would never be happy again. Could I ever laugh? Would I enjoy life at all?

I know many of you have felt that same way. Some of you may have recently lost someone and you’re still dealing with the pain.

Thankfully, the pain does get better. The loss of losing a loved one never goes away but we cherish the moments we had with them.

I’m so thankful for my Mom and the influence she had on my life. I’m so thankful she pointed me to Christ. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of her.

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I listened to this song over and over when Mom was sick. My favorite line is “no guilt in life, no fear in death”. It reminds me of Mom. I’ve shared this song before but some of you may not have heard it.

 

Have a blessed day!

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20 Comments

  1. I completely understand, I don’t think we can ever “get over” the loss of people that we love, but thankfully, for those whose life was turned over to Christ, we know there will be a joyous reunion someday, and we will never have to be parted again!! The passing of time does soften the sharpness of the pain and sadness at being apart, which is good. I think that at least for me, the longer I am blessed to live, the less I “worry” about my own death – there are so many that I love who ae there waiting for me.

  2. First of all, you look SOO much like your mom! Both of you are beautiful! Second, amazing how strong your mom must have been!! She lived one moth after diagnosis….amazing woman! I know it must be so hard without her. Praise the Lord you will live in her neighborhood in heaven!

  3. Cyndi, I started following your blog several months ago, and read about your mother in your archives. The tears fell as I read about the day she became ill, and for the many painful months that followed her death. I lost my mother, 30 years ago, unexpectedly. I was only 22. Six years later, my 36 year old husband died in his sleep. We had a 3 year old daughter. God is so loving and gracious to see us through the darkest times in our lives. He has blessed my life in ways I could never have imagined at the time. My little girl is now the mother of my two precious grandchildren! Thank you for sharing your story! You are a beautiful woman….just like your mother. Her Godly character and goodness lives on though you. God Bless you.

  4. Thank you Cyndi, you inspire us all. That song, always, always, takes me to my knees in tears, and yet also fills my heart with such joy and gratitude for our Lord Jesus Christ. On this the Lord’s day, as I count my blessings, one is for the beautiful voices out there such as yours, helping to share the Lord’s message.

  5. thank you for sharing this today, Cyndi. My dearest friend went home to Jesus last Monday, after battling lung cancer for a few weeks. I miss her so deeply….but am thankful that she is free of pain. Her favorite song was In Christ Alone.
    God shapes us through our sorrows as much as through our joys….perhaps more so. Thank you for sharing the hard times as well as the good with us. Love to you. xx

  6. I can look at this picture of Wanda and feel her calming presence and love for God, family, and others. She lived her life for others, proclaiming God’s message through the way she lived her life. I only encountered her a few times, but those times were a blessing to me. She truly was a special lady.

  7. I lost my precious mother in 2012. My husband and I took our turn sitting with her on Christmas day 2011. She passed away on Jan. 11th. I found your sister’s blog and enjoyed learning diy projects. Then I found yours and have so enjoyed updating my wardrobe. But the reason I began following was the love you both share for your mother. I feel so much of the same feelings for my own.

    Thank you for sharing from your heart today. I miss my mama every day but I’m so very grateful for being blessed with a mom that was so dear that I miss her presence each day. I can’t help but think of the people that didn’t have that kind of relationship with their moms.

    God bless!

  8. I lost my daddy on July 29, 2012 and my father-in-law March 2, 2014. I miss them terribly..and find myself having to stop at times to have a good cry. I know they are with their Savior and I’ll see them again. Grief cannot be explained or planned for…but Jesus is there through it all..and for that I am incredibly grateful. Thank you, Cyndi, for sharing.

  9. Thank you Cyndi losing my parents has been the hardest event in my life. I am so thankful it want be long Jesus will take us home and we shall be together again. Come Quickly Lord Jesus!

  10. I, too, understand the pain and loss after losing precious parents. My daughters were 6 and 1 when Daddy died, and Mama died the next year. How much we have missed them, and how I have longed for them as my daughters (now 33 and 28) grew up. But someday, this life will seem like an instant compared to the eternity we will share with them. Love and peace to you.

  11. always love it when you share your mother’s life. having read other remarks about her, I know that her final breath on earth was huge to you and your family in the loss but that she shared an abundant life with all of you;especially her love of our Savior.

    I seems so petty to share a bit of blog housekeeping but I wanted to let you know that I was completely unable to open your email in case there have been others with the same challenge and your traffic is affected. to get here I had to do it the old fashioned address search.

    thank you again

    1. I had to do that, too. Like you, I enjoy Cyndi so much that I had to search the old fashioned way to read the beautiful post.

  12. I to have a similar story. It was September 12, 2009 my dads 77 birthday. We had a party planned. That morning my Dad almost passed out so Mom took him to the ER. He was anemic so they decided to keep him for tests. He was bleeding internally and diagnosed with Mesothelioma. He never left the hospital. He left us on September 21, 2009. Which was my sisters birthday. A week before he went into the hospital he was umping a baseball game. 3 years later 3 days after my 50th birthday my sister found my Mom in her chair, she passed from a blood clot in her lung. I guess Dad couldn’t be without her any longer so he had God call her home. I miss them everyday.

  13. I was a very young 18, in my freshman year at Purdue University, and received a phone call that my 37 year old mom had died (she committed suicide)… I didn’t live with my mom because my dad and step-mom had full custody of me…but, we were still close…and I had just seen her the weekend before…
    it rocked my world in so many ways…. but, it also gave me a much deeper compassion for those who are depressed and have suffered abuse in their early years…
    I mourn that she never knew my husband or her 3 grandsons– especially, the one who looks JUST LIKE HER! but, I know our reunion will be sweet…
    I was blessed with the most amazing step-mom– she is a best friend, great Nana, and wonderful parent to me– I treasure that relationship!! probably even more so, because of losing my mom…
    thanks for sharing, Cyndi!

  14. I love this song as well Cindi. Isn’t it great that we can put our faith in Christ and not have the fear that others do in death. God Bless!!

  15. Your post touched exactly what I was feeling. On mother’s day 2011, my mom was just not herself. Feeling lethargic. She went into the hospital a few days later dehydrated from a stomach virus. While she was there, they discovered a cancerous tumor on her kidney. The next eight weeks were in and out of hospitals, doctors offices, and finally hospice. Mom was never strong enough for surgery or chemo or radiation. Mom died two months after diagnosis day. I was 46. My daughter was 6. I’m so thankful everyday for my mom, and that my daughter can still remember her. They shared such a special bond. I’m praying a special blessing today for all of us who have lost our momma’s.

  16. Thanks for the inspiration. I lost my dad last summer, August 31, 2014. He battled lung cancer for almost 2 years. The average life expectancy after a stage 4 diagnosis is 8 months. We felt so blessed to have him 20 months. He was the rock in my family and a wonderful spiritual leader. Thanks for the opportunity to stop and remember with you!

  17. It was 5 nights after my 44th birthday in January 2013 when I received the panicked call from my mom that Daddy was being taken to the hospital. He was 4 weeks from his 70th birthday (we were planning a party) and had also been my pastor since I was 7 years old. I had received similar calls in the past (he previously had 2 heart attacks and 2 strokes but had come through and was very active) but this time I knew it was different. I grabbed my 2 boys (my husband was out of town) and prayed “God, please help my daddy. But if it be your will to take him on to heaven, please help us get through it!” My sons, who were very close to their Paw-Paw, stayed with their other grandparents while I went to the hospital. Not long after my arrival, they told us he was gone. That very day I had been at my parent’s house because my Dad had picked up the boys from school. I didn’t see him, though, b/c Mom said he wasn’t feeling well so he had gone to lay down in the bedroom. She wanted him to go to the hospital, but he said he was OK; he often had heart palpitations. Later that evening he told Mom he was feeling much better and just needed to rest a few more minutes. When she went back to check on him, he was unresponsive. It was that quickly that he was gone. During that difficult time I felt God’s grace all around me. It was hard, but I knew God would get us through, just like I prayed that night. I am so thankful for God’s grace for myself, my family, and my mother, who now lives by herself and had previously never spent 1 night alone prior to my dad’s death. God is so good!